this is what scares me the most, because I need the money.
Do the math. See how rational the fear is. Whatever the result, admit you’re afraid and decide if you also want to be brave and act despite the fear. Make a plan. Start working on it. Hopefully things are better on the other side, but either way that fear will pass.
Fear is a natural part of human life. Often useful, but also often not. But as long as you can manage to act despite your fear, it won’t harm you.
Ok, cortisol and stress exist, but you have bigger things to worry about.
Answer based on European standard where worker have some basic rights
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Not happy in the job : do the bare minimum while looking for something else guarantees that pay keeps coming, worst-case they fire-you giving you a severance pay (not necessarily big if you’re new in the company) and keeping your right to unemployment (which in general are lost when you quit).
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Toxic environment impacting mental health : Go to your doctor and take sick-leaves, and please do it before being in full burn out, then come back to previous point
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Very toxic environment, like harassment : Talk with a lawyer or an union representative you may have a case to sue the company, and even quit on the spot while keeping severance pay and unemployment rights, but you may-need a legal advise for it
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When a job is toxic, I send off a job application for someplace else every evening. It makes the job I have bearable cause I feel like I’m already gone but the toxic boss still thinks they have power over me. Gives me a chuckle.
Every time I left a job to find something better, I doubled my salary as well.
The requirement for a steady paycheque is what keeps everyone working in terrible conditions. I’m lucky enough that I’ve always had a lot in savings and it has come in handy a few times. Twice I’ve walked off a job and never went back after failing to negotiate proper working conditions with the boss. Both times I burned through about $10,000 in savings while searching for a new job. Almost nobody has that much saved up. If they did, terrible bosses would lose employees on the regular.
Bingo. Low paycheck is not only because of greedy bastard want all the revenue, it’s to keep poor people poor, preventing them from become a competitor. If employees live paycheck to paycheck, wear themselves out everyday, work long hours, and demoralised, they will very likely to stay. It’s learned helplessness.
Always be looking for a new job, you never know when a new boss arrives and makes it horrible.
I call it “the fear”. Being unemployed or underemployed or having the risk of no income fills me with it.
This is why I have two jobs. The second one fills with work until every 5 years it seems I abandon the day job and bulk up on the second job to make ends meet and burn its queue down.
It’s not intentional but it works out that way.
No. I haven’t doubled my salary, but I’m on the wrong side of 40 where I’m happy to be employed in this toxically ageist field.
My wife has done super well and sometimes beats my day job pay cheque, so we finally have that buffer too. And she doesn’t quit her jobs as she’s a super team player and instead gets promoted to fix problems. (Kinda got a crush on her for being so awesome)
Everyone else is right. Try to line something new up first. But I was once in the position of quitting without something lined up, and the decider for me was that if I didn’t quit, I was likely to actually take my own life. It’s a matter of perspective at that point, and clearly, surviving was the better option.
I had a miserably toxic job, and, yeah, I know that pit of despair and what it does to our decisions. I opened the search to the world, but came up with a domestic job about 3000mi away.
I grabbed the go-bag and all but bugged the fuck out, quitting on a Thursday, boarding a plane on a Friday and starting my new job on the Monday. She sold the house, got the movers (fuck moving) and shepherded all our worldlies to the new place. She’s not military but she faked it really well.
If you need the money then start looking for jobs now, and quit when you’ve got something.
This is true.
Look, the moment you know you need a new job, you’re done at the current shop. So get looking.
Don’t quit, slowdown, make them fire you, collect unemployment and get a better job
Bad advice for a toxic workplace. That’s just going to ruin your mental health.
I see that in the bad spots, though – people are looking but not landing a new post, so they cope by doing the minimums, peacing out on the dot and getting their sleep. They no longer care about the success of the company, and while that’s admirable, it’s a social issue to abandon the tribe and it can eat on people.
I’m so happy when they land a new post, happier still if I do before I just … stop going. And that’s what I do: I lose interest in going if I can’t find a new post within the year I usually allow (I’m picky).
This last move I told my boss he had a year. It was like 13 months.
Still, if I can drag down the mental health of management with me, that’s a win.
I was not scared at all, because it was the very normal thing for me to find a new and better paying job first.
But I was lucky because that asshole boss did rarely actually show up and make my life miserable. He was too busy with making so many others miserable, too.
Toxic jobs drain your life, even when you leave work you’re worried about work, worried about getting fired from the toxic job…unless you can scrape together a small amount of money saved. If you’re sitting at home spending what little extra you have trying to distract yourself from thinking about work recognize that that cycle will NEVER END. Make it your mission to save every damn penny you can until you have a small amount of savings.
When you have that money, you’ll notice that you’re not quite as worried about being fired because you know you’ll be able to pay your rent/mortgage next money, you’ll have food on the table, and you’ll be able to cover the bare minimum of costs to live. The situation has now changed dramatically because you could quit tomorrow if you needed to, and you’ll be okay next month.
Working the toxic job has now stopped being a necessity, and now its a choice you make. You choose to be there. You have the power now. You can choose to quit and be gone if you absolutely need to and you’re not going to be homeless. Now you work the toxic job not for them, but for yourself. You use that job, as toxic as it is, to get what you need out of it to raise yourself to the next level of what you need to go elsewhere. You’re also not trying to avoid thinking about work because you’re not scared of it. You have some mental capacity back and can start asking yourself what you want to do next, what you need to do that, and how to get those things accomplished. Is it more school? A certification of some kind? A tool needed for your trade? Experience? Maybe you can get that experience at your toxic employer. Volunteer for what the work is that would give you the experience. You’re going to make mistakes in this new work. Make your mistakes there at the toxic employer. Gain the knowledge you need, then start looking elsewhere all.
Find your new/better employer, and make your escape.
Agree with everything else but maybe not this:
You can choose to quit and be gone if you absolutely need to and you’re not going to be homeless. Now you work the toxic job not for them, but for yourself. You use that job, as toxic as it is, to get what you need out of it to raise yourself to the next level of what you need to go elsewhere.
The stress of losing the job is gone from having the money, but the stress of having that job has not gone away. If it is ruining all your free time it’s often good to just GTFO as soon as is reasonable.
Toxic jobs really take a toll on your health, especially if you feel trapped in them. Looking for a new job is really a full time job on itself, it can be hard to do so while already working a full time job. If you feel your job is toxic you should start looking for something new right away - whether you’ve given notice or not. I’ve ended up in the hospital twice from the toll toxic jobs that I felt trapped in took on me. Another thing you can consider is diversifying your income. Ie, a “side hustle”. If you have more than one income stream you won’t be quite as trapped. You also will have something to help buffer the transition between your real jobs.
I’ve left two jobs because they were toxic. I always had something else lined up beforehand though.
I left a few toxic jobs before. At one I left with my middle fingers in the air, throwing chicken nuggets from a bucket at employees I didn’t like on my way out. And then when I saw my fat manager I just went MOOOOOOO on my way out.
20 years later, still worth it. I still laugh.
I feel like everyone deserves at least one job related “fuck you” style moral victory in their lives and that qualifies for sure.
For me it was when the WORST manager I have ever had called me back a year after I quit to ask me to come work for her again and got to laugh in her face and tell her I’d have happily accepted half the pay at her place to scrub toilets as long as it wasn’t working with her, but instead I was making double what she paid me to do my dream job.
I’ve never done cocaine, BUT I’m pretty sure I know what it feels like.
Nope. Because I practice healthy financial habits.
I tried to have something else lined up each time, but tbh the financial hit from quitting a job where I was overworked was not nearly as bad as how I felt after my job each day. If you have some skills, offer to do oddjobs. Offer to detail friend’s cars, mow lawns, and pump up the quantity of applications.
