I work in a public school district and i visit about a dozen different schools. Bosses are making us share our calendars, thinking they’ll be able to track us and catch us doing something wrong. I’m planning to add “started my period” every couple of weeks. Are there other good outlook tricks to fuck with them?
ETA- This is my work calendar, not my personal calendar. I know that seems reasonable but it’s being done as a petty micromanagement tactic. There are about 20 of us in my department who drive from school to school every day working with kids with physical disabilities. They don’t just want to know when we’re in meetings - they want every minute of our day to be accounted for - 8 to 830 school A, 840 to 11 school B, etc. I go to 14 schools. If my kid at school A is absent or if i get a call from school J that i need to stop by to fix a wheelchair, am I supposed to pull over and update my calendar so they can find me? I could spend an hour a day in parking lots editing my calendar. Most days i eat lunch in my car between schools. Last year they made a rule that we can’t carry to-go cups because it looks like we have enough free time to drive thru Starbucks. It’s just to be controlling.
Your school district has crappy leadership. Look for a better district. Put those job interviews on your calendar.
- Spam personal fake notes everywhere. “Joey’s little league game”, “Call dentist” and make completely useless ones like “remember the thing” for maximum annoyance.
- Add obscure religious holidays and random countries’ national festivities. “Bhutan Losar day. Get decorations.”
- Put in washed up celebrities’ birthdays “David Hasselhoff’s b-day”.
- Include random bad album release anniversaries. “18 year release anniversary of Kid Rock - Live Trucker”.
- Register inaccurate astrological milestones with random advice. “Leo ascending in Pluto. Good day for new beginnings”.
- Every once in a while add events that are just random characters such as “HERDBhbcdbcnn nnnnnnnn” which you can later claim were added accidentally from your pocket.
- Make sure some of the events are written IN ALL CAPS
- Be lavish with your use of exclamation marks!!!1!!111
- Occasionally add reviews of your day scheduled for a few hours later as if using the calendar as a diary, including details about health conditions and sex life. “Rough day today… had a lot of work and <partner> didn’t want to get frisky because of the hemmorhoids”
- Write down random math calculations here and there that suggest you are confusing the calendar with an excel spreadsheet “=27.5/3”
- Include the most bland and sad motivational quotes every couple of days with several typos as if written ina rush: “YO cndo it!!!” “YOU WILL ALEAYS BE BEeeTIFUL, gril. Ownit!!!”
- Add fake Google search queries as if confusing the calendar with your search bar “cheap viernamese restaurant charlottesville” “how dolphins swim so fast ND jump”
Extra bonus points if you can invite him to the “events” and get the calendar to send him push notifications for occasional 5:30 am “wake up early for the thing”. If he accuses you of bad faith for inviting him, tell him it’s the default and you keep forgetting to remove him.
Not only will this annoy him, it will render the system impossible to supervise and you can always claim you ALWAYS organize your personals through your calendar and this “is just how i organize”.
Good luck and give em hell.
Edit: Elaborated and more ideas
Edit 2: Few more ideas.
Don’t forget to use tasks too. Spams your bosses task list with random stuff and reminders all the time.
Nice! I didn’t know that!
The only one here so far not likely to immediately get you in trouble is the one about setting calendar reminders. By default, everyone with access to the event gets the alert with the event reminder.
Also, just being stupidly stringent with your time logging. 10:03-10:17 Gas, 8.9gal, $XX.XX to start pushing for (increased) mileage compensation.
Log every minute you go over time. It’s a wonderful way to make managers twitchy.
Also, there are certain things you could reasonably expect them to want logged with this that legally they are not allowed to ask for. Not “Took a big fat steamer”, what are you, 12? But “Bathroom” 1:10-1:15, and dare them to challenge it on the record. If they do, take it up the chain “I felt pressured to include this information in my time logs and now I’m being judged for it”. That should raise alarm bells with anyone up above them.
Most of all, chill out. Just keep your shit in order and keep moving on. No reason to jeapordize your employment for pettiness.
Yeah. I really need to learn how to let things go and stop being petty, but I just can’t stand her stupid lying face! “Share your calendar so we can find you if there’s an emergency.” Well, you could call me or you could use the multi million dollar emergency alert system that i sign into at every building.
