Coworker I met when I started at my current job a year and a half ago. She’s the only person who makes me feel unconditionally loved, safe, and more confident in being myself than anyone else. She’s pushed me to be more engaged in the friendships I care about, which is hard because introvert. She has an awesome personality and has introduced me to a group of other squiggly (LGBTQ+) people who are super supportive.

Love at first sight 😊

It sounds like you may have obsessive compulsive disorder. I would encourage you to seek out a therapist who utilizes exposure and response prevention (ERP) as a treatment.