Vaggumon

Brother: Lets just say we had a major disagreement in early November.

Earth is the neighborhood you roll your windows up when you drive through at max speed.

This isn’t exactly what you were asking for, but thought I would share a funny story from a few years ago.

I had a problem player, fell asleep during games, made other players uncomfortable with unwanted advances, would say racist things in and sometimes out of character, etc. So I decided to have a bit of fun on what I knew was going to be his last session with our group. He had wanted a ring of invisibility or a powerful magical crossbow. I gave him both.

The ring was not the kind you wear on a finger though, and he had to spend a full minute to put it on as it required some… prep, he was so embarrassed he never even tried to use it.

The Crossbow was hot pink, covered in glitter, and became soul bound as soon as he attuned to it which was as soon as he picked it up. It shot 4 Eldritch Blasts per attack action, and gave a free attack action every turn. It also compelled anyone within 100ft of the bow to refer to the wielder as Sparkle Bitch. Small price to pay, so he thought. Problem is, the Crossbow was a cursed item and after the wielder fired 20 shots, all the damage it dealt would be added up, multiplied by 10 and then dealt back to the wielder in an explosive cloud of pink glitter. I don’t recall the total, but was easily 4 times the players max HP. He was pissed, and that’s when I told him he was no longer welcome at my table.

More in line with your request though: A magical whistle, when you blow it, once per day you can summon an army of 1D6 chickens who will then follow you around until your next long rest. You can have the army attack dealing 1D4 damage multiplied by the number of chickens. The chickens are unkillable, and vanish in a cloud of feathers when you take your next long rest.

I’m done, I don’t care what happens to me now.  I had little faith in people and the system, now I have zero. If I survive, cool, if not, well, it’s been a good run.  Good luck everyone, we are going to need it.

Those 20 friends are my chosen family. We meet up every couple months for a hangout. The only time I actually socialize really. Been together for nearly 20 years. I haven seen a blood relative in maybe 7 years and that was due to my sisters funeral.

Yep, my wife, myself and a group of about 20 friends all did early mail-in ballots. Had a barbecue, played some board games, then filled out our ballots and went to the post office box to drop them off. All confirmed received in the middle of September.

Yo ho ho and fuck the police