It also will make your house smell great! I’d also suggest making enough for friends and visitors.

I’m in Chicago and it can get lonely if you decide to stay couped up in your house for too long. Make sure to be intentional on inviting friends over and becoming close with your neighbors. I noticed comments here are focused on the physical aspect of winter, but it’s also important to take care of your mental health.

My theory is the Midwestern kindness is just a regional Stockholm syndrome. We’re all in this together.

So you spent the day outside shoveling snow, maybe you had to walk 20 minutes to get to a friend’s house, maybe the cold itself just took it out of you because your body was burning calories just to stay warm. You finally get home and you are out of breath and just wanting to dry off and get warm again- and that’s when you thank your past self for what you did on meal prep Sunday:

French onion soup.

You can look online for recipes, but here’s what I improvised last Sunday (probably not definition french onion soup, but at least a variation on a theme). Mine takes about 1 hour to make (10 min prep, 50ish minutes to cook)

Ingredients:

• 1/4 cup butter
• 1 tablespoon fat (I use leftover bacon grease)
• Onions (I used 4 but you could do more)
• garlic (I used 1 bulb, but you could always do more)
• Apple (I used 1, but you could always do more)
• veggies (I like zucchini and carrots)
• mushrooms if you like em
• protein (stew beef, ground meat, chicken, turkey, hell even sandwich meat will do)
• cardamom
• Curry powder
• vinegar (I use white balsamic, but apple cider vinegar or anything flavorful will do)
• chicken broth

1. Cut up the onions into thick chunks, no need to get precise, just hack 'em quick so you have less time being in a tearful agony
2. Peel the bulb of garlic, but leave the cloves whole- don’t crush them.
3. Heat up your butter and fat, then add in the onions and garlic. Let it sautee for like… 30 minutes? If you have time to do a proper caramelizing then do that, but it’s still good if you want to make it faster.
4. While the onions and garlic do their thing, prepare your meat in another pan. Of course if you use ham or something pre cooked you can skip this step.
5. Slice your apple(s) however you want, I like thin slices but cubes are good too.
6. Add in veg and apples, let them cook for 15 minutes or so
7. Add meat
8. A couple dashes of cardamom and curry and also pour in your broth to desired consistency
9. Give a taste then add a dash of vinegar to see how it really cuts through the fattiness

Dish and serve! If you want to really clog those arteries, go ahead and add some cheese on top, I like smoked Gouda. I also use a pipe sweater to torch the cheese and give it a little melty/ crispy texture. This soup should be thick and hearty to restore your energy and give you the gumption to brave the elements again. If you were link in legend of Zelda, you’re getting at least 10 yellow hearts from this.

That and a hot tody will give you the coziness that will lift your spirits in the dark cold months.

Good luck!

Okay but here me out, what if we 10^43 more monkeys to balance out the speed?

In fact, let’s push this to an extreme. We get enough monkeys that their mass turns them all into one black hole. Inside the black hole, the laws of physics get all fucked. Next we need to somehow dissolve the event horizon as explained in This Kurzgesagt video. Once that happens and we are left with a bare singularity, anything can pop out of it, including a copy of Hamlet.

The monkeys, however, will very likely be dead.

Side note:

I like to do a semi-anual audit of the information sources I use, and last year I removed the infographics channel from my feed. It turns out it’s a content farm that puts quantity over quality. Some of their videos may actually be good, but they don’t have the fact checking safeguards that more reliable channels like kurzgesagt does.

You’ll notice Kurzgesagt has several videos that delve into how they do their research, and how the funds they receive from individuals, governments, and corporations affect their videos. Check to see if any of your channels have a “how we make our content” page. If they don’t, it’s for a reason.

Also, be wary of channels that use the kurzgesagt visual style, or an aesthetic that is similar to a notably trusted source. I’ve noticed a lot of false info that has an easier time being passed off as good due to using animation that we might associate with quality educational content.

That said, how much do you trust your life with Dr. Who? I’ve seen many characters die while trusting him, and that’s just the ones on screen.

I’m not saying he is a bad doctor, but he was caught on film losing several sidekicks/ allies. If you’re caught on film doing something, you probably do it a lot.

“If you get caught doing crack on the news, you are a crackhead. It’s not like a “oh this was just the one time” situation. You do it enough you get caught on the news doing it.” -Josh Johnson

Edit: just looked for an answer of what the mortality rate is for the Doctor and it’s 42% according to a reddit question. At some point the authorities would be called in because 42% is more than just a “licence revoked” number.