I’d say an average sized zucchini slathered in olive oil.
You could shove a 747 up my ass if it would solve world hunger. I’ll take one for the team.
You might not live after that one. 747s aren’t known to be that reliable.
it’ll blow a door, drop an engine, and veer off-course before crashing, long before it got to ya.
Love to see the black box on that one
It would probably be more brown and blood colored
At least you know it’ll be easier since the landing gears won’t deploy.
Won’t fit. Conditions not met. World still hungry. You did it for nothing.
Is there like, prep time? Or do you just have to decide and make it happen on the spot?
You can have the prep time you need.
From my time on Reddit, I’m pretty sure that, scientifically, the largest thing anyone could fit in their ass is a raccoon.
And I mean, is one animal’s suffering enough to stop solving world hunger? I don’t think so.
True that. Gotta go for a whole “gaze” of coons
What sub on Reddit taught you that?!?
it’s reddit, so it could have been any of a hundred that are now banned, and dozens more that aren’t.
Pretty sure two animals would suffer that day.
How many Sharpies we talking here?
One singular item please
But the standard unit of measurement is /r/buttsharpies.
Not sure if:
Or
Should be used here.
In this situation, I would recommend grape seed oil. It has a higher smoking point.
Coconut oil is what I recommend for an oil for lube. Both solid and liquid work well, the solid formwlts easily with body heat. It smells nice and is also good for your skin!
Trust me, I’m not going to be rapidly pushing it in and out…at least not at first…
A raccoon.
Whoa whoa whoa whoa…whenever I talk about how humans are the weirdest species thats ever existed, I always include this line:
“Like, you don’t see bears out in the wild, hunting down live mice, which are then kept alive and used for the sole purpose of the bear shoving the live mouse up it’s own butthole for sexual gratification. Bears don’t do that. No animal does that. Only humans have been known to shove a mouse up its own ass just to feel it scurry around inside them.”
That line usually gets equal amounts of cringe and laughter. But it proves my point about how weird humans are.
And now you’re like “uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh…hey, let’s use a raccoon!”
Can we make it a CEOs asshole so it’s a win-win situation?
If it really really came down to it I could probably fit something with a 9" circumference, though it would take me a couple hours of warm up and relaxation. I have a toy that’s 8.5" circumference that I can take, but not easily. That’s what, an eggplant? A rolling pin? A standard single serving soda bottle? Somewhere around there
idk but it better have a flared base
Jesus, found a Black Mirror writer.
Is there a size requirement for the world hunger solving? Does it have to be a food? I’m confused by the question. Maybe like a bok choy
The larger the size, the better chance of solving all world hunger
I’m not sure you understand what causes world hunger.
Well now hold on. I have some questions before I commit.
What part of this action is solving world hunger?
Because it seems to me this feels like one of those fine print situations. You stick a bunch of giant painful humiliating shit in your ass, and a bunch of wealthy elite assholes laugh at your suffering. The next day you read that people are still starving in other countries.
So you go and try to find out what the fuck is going on. That’s when you find out that the contract was only good for making sure that enough food for everyone on earth is PRODUCED. And it is. It always has been. Nothing in the contract states anything about that food then being evenly distributed.
In essense, we’ve always made enough food, and then throw the bulk away. This whole big thing up your butthole contest was just a scheme by the the elite to laugh at plebs sticking bowling balls up their asses, and ripping their anus open. That’s their version of comedy central.
Your mom
The anal gods are asking for another sacrifice
does it have to be fully consumed by my butthole? if not, 2 liter of diet coke. if so, small head of cabbage
You can prairie dog, that’s acceptable
