I am about a decade into a swe career and bored as hell. One of my biggest regrets is not sticking it out and continuing down the research path (bioinformatics). As the saying goes, regrets show us the things that matter most.

You know that old cracker, “when you’re on your death bed looking back at your life, what will you wish you’d done?”

I’m not at the end of my life, but well past your decisions. And I can say, without hesitation: do what you think will give you most life satisfaction.

I was at a similar 3-fork, and chose the “career first” approach. I got stuck in a cycle of jobs and promotions which led me to be reasonably well off, but it required sacrifices: moving to places I didn’t much care for, working on projects I had no passion about, and ultimately being promoted into a position where I really hated what I was doing. And then did that for ten years, with promotions that only took me further from the things I loved and filling more hours of my life with things which I didn’t.

Also, I’d suggest you look at the future and play Nostradamus. In our career (we had the same), with LLMs, will you need happy? It’s maybe not soon, but inevitably LLMs and AI-adjacent technologies will make “computer programming” a very different job. For decades, people have been trying to put programmers out of work - remember “no code/low code” platforms? They’re still out there, and while they had a phase and many disillusioned customers, LLMs are only make them better, and one day, they won’t suck. Will you be happy if your job consists mostly of trying to translate business requirements into LLM queries, and then debugging its code?

I’m not an expert, but I would wager bio medical engineering is safer from AI than CIS. And, probably, more competitive yet lucrative.

I can’t tell you what’s best for you, but I can tell you that you won’t get smarter, only possibly wiser. The older you get, the harder it is to learn new fields, especially in STEM. If you don’t do a PhD it now, odds are greatly reduced that you’ll do it ever.

The PNW is a fantastic area. Be aware that Seasonal Affective Disorder is a thing, and you may not detect symptoms until after several years. It’s not common, but it’s also not rare.

Finally, if you plan on staying with your SO as a life partner, consider their life path carefully. If they work in a field where all of the best jobs are in Boston, for instance, that’s eventually going to become a topic.

You’re facing - IMHO - one of those fulcrum-of-life decisions which will drastically alter your destination in profound ways. Good luck.

My kid was in your shoes about 4 years ago. He went with the SWE gig and is now making 300K per year. Of course, his specialty is AI, and he’s a cited expert with published papers and such.

No masters, no PhD. His wife also got her full citizenship last year.

But the real kicker is, if you aren’t satisfied with the three choices you’ve layed out, you must find a 4th path. Nobody says those are the only 3 choices.

If your partner is willing to support you for four years, try for the phd and the rest will be fallbacks. Especially if the phd debt is gonna be less than the MS. You could be accepted to an MS program again. You could live with in-laws maybe in the future if things fall apart. The whole deportation thing is something you should definitely have a fallback plan for though. Plan for the worst, expect the best.

Either of the programs remote? You could move south to Mexico and wait things out for a bit since your partner works remote.

Make whatever decision you think is best for you and your loved ones, but make backup plans in case things don’t work out. You’re relatively young so something goes south you have a lot of time to get back on your feet. You can afford to be risky.

I’m just a rando who is not qualified to give this kind of advice.

Best of luck!

I’m not American, so I can’t speak to the reality on the ground over there, but I’d say you should try getting rid of that debt as fast as possible.

It sucks feeling guilty about every necessary purchase with that ever-growing number looming over you.

Shit happens. A pipe will burst. Your favourite uncle will have too much fun on a gambling app. The car’s engine will make a noise no mechanic has ever heard before. etc etc.

I have roughly ~$3.5k in debt and it feels impossible to shake off.

That being said, there’s no ‘wrong’ choice. The other two comments hit the nail on the head. These aren’t the only three options and you can always go back and give another shot at whatever you didn’t pick.

Life is kinda funny.

There are going to be times when you look back at this decision and are convinced you made the wrong one. But eventually you’re going to find your path through life and realize everything about your life that you love is a consequence of that decision and even if there were bumps along the way you’re glad you picked the path you did.

That’s regardless of which path you choose. So there’s not a bad choice here. What interests you the most? What’s your passion? If it’s not career related, go with the SWE to start living your life in your terms. If your passion drives you on to professional or academic excellence do another option. Or pick on some other basis because it’ll work out one way or the other and almost certainly in ways you don’t intend today.

Good luck!

#1, clearly. Listen, bro, I have fired so many useless phds. Just don’t. And paying for a master’s in the sciences is equally dumb.